What makes an experience so very different for men and women?
Let me explain.
Thrissurpuram is the famous, much celebrated, much televised and publicized annual festival which draws crowds from all over the world. It being made to look like a once-in-a-lifetime tourist bonanza, i fought against my first impulse to experience it live - on TV. So there we set off, eager-beavers, in the sweltering, blazing heat of Kerala with the Sun at its summit, right at noon time.
What does one expect to see? Caparisoned elephants in all their glory, experience a ritual unique to this culture, be one with the crowd and feel the throb of excitement pound all our veins with the rising tempo of the drums. But expectations have to contend with reality.
So what did the men have to contend with? Grounds packed and bursting shoulder to shoulder and back-to-front with swelling multitudes of people. We call this the 'real India' experience and try to feel at one with our brethren - one amidst the mingling sweat, stifling heat where not even a casual whisper of a breeze can wift in to provide reprieve because there is simply no space; one amidst the collective lack of oxygen and fear of asphyxiation; one amidst the rising and falling waves of nausea and sweat drenched chiffon chunnis and cotton shirts; one in our resilience to brave all this and stand together to soak in the 'puram'.
And what did the women have to contend with? Besides all that the men valiantly bore up with, the women had the added test of harassment to pass. Jostling, groping, squeezing, pushing, feeling, touching; you might fight and scratch and elbow and hit, but what can you do between a dozen men on all sides resolutely fixed upon getting their fingers into one of your orifices. Not that it starts this way. In such a packed crowd, where you have been foolish enough to venture on the absurd quest of 'experiencing culture', it begins with the supposition that there is just no place for straying hands all around to rest, except on YOU! What are you and your anterior and posterior, but a simple handrest! But as the the drums pick up the tempo, a tribal primitive frenzy possesses the crowd, and it is all no longer the law abiding, genteel, civilized crowd that entered, but a savage, primaeval, opportunistic crowd tearing, ripping, jostling to get at its share of flesh.
This is how different an experience can be for a man and a woman.
I wonder how many women really saw and absorbed the paraphernalia of decked elephants and their acrobatic mahouts twirling the ornate umbrellas? How many of them left with wide-eyed horror and a seething humiliating rage and left to pour out their fury with futile words on their blogs?
LOL!! Quite true, an experience like that wouldn't make you all happy about 'experiencing culture', but isn't the groping, tearing part also in itself, a part and parcel of the culture in question here? Looking at this from that angle, I guess you were an audience to true 'spirit of culture in India'. You should be glad! ;)
ReplyDelete@lexuscages
ReplyDeleteWell that's quite a spin you've put to it. I certainly did end up experiencing 'true culture'! :)
And that makes it even sadder, that this should become acceptable enough to be called culture.
It's terrible...something one shouldn't have to get used to :( Nope
ReplyDeleteWell reading this post kinda makes me uncomfortable, probably ashamed of the fact, that i belong to the race we all know as men. Well right since the civilizations started all we men ve been trying to do is dominate and whom, women. And why jus because god made her a little weak physically. She is treated as a servant, as somebody who should be there all the times to satisfy their lust, as a lowly commoner BUT never a equal human being who breathes and feels the same way as they do and needs to be treated the same way as well.
ReplyDeleteWhy is that we men can wander anywhere, at any time while women ve to make sure they walk in crowds (here too they ve to bear the brunt of eyes ogling at them), and get to their destinations before the dawn.
And after reading this post, trust me i was very hurt because the experience described here is something probably every women has to go thru in their lives and probably today its become something they have learned to live with. Pathetic..
And lexuscages.. Let me tell u one thing , its people with ideology like yours who form the core of this race. Its people like you who form taliban.
U no wat if u think u really are a MAN, lets c if u r facing death , with a gun pointing at ur forehead, u can laugh it off n say that u r experiencing true culture. I doubt u ll have the balls to do it.
Probably u cud take a lesson or two from PhoneticDawdle.
For a women the fear of exploitation , harassment is no lesser than fear of death.
I ll jus say ,kudos to all the ladies who unfortuantely had to face all of it and ve braved it to move on in life and general appeal to any guy who reads it that lets try and make this world a little safer for all.
@unholy3devil
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! Taliban?? for god's sake! haha.. Trust me, I couldn't stop laughing after I read this. You were kind enough to have figured out my ideology by a few lines. It really opened my eyes. Thank you.
Now I believe I should start molesting girls. I hope you won't mind if I borrow your username while carrying out these activities. Unholy3Devil, sounds kinda cool for a molester, when you think about it. Lol.. ufff... dard ho gaya pet mein..
Though I feel you are a little mistaken when you say that god made them physically weak. Recollecting the times when PhoneticDawdler herself would tower over me at any instant, and I would be running everywhere for some shelter, you should try duelling with them. I am afraid you might come out feeling ravaged. However, instead of fury, here you can only smile. (winks @PhoneticDawdler)
PS:
Ok, I was and I am just kidding dude. Relax!! White Flag!! I apologize if my juvenile comments hurt your sentiments. I know this 'culture' is terrible. But I don't waste my time effusing these emotions, as it can only make everyone sad. I believe in action more than mere words on a webpage. A slightly different approach. :)..